Sunday 28 June 2020

Alice goes to Dreamworld - a fable for our time


Alice looked at the Dreamworld Holidays website then back at her bank balance. There was plenty in the current account and her savings had grown steadily. Since Grandma had left her the money, she had hardly touched it. During the crisis it had been difficult to spend anything.
Archaos
Cirque Revolutionnaire 1988
For nearly two years she’d bought almost no clothes. That had been a big saving. When you were on Zoom all day it really didn’t matter if you wore old leggings and flip flops. You could change the tops around and make them look different with a piece of jewellery or a scarf. Scarves were easier to come by than clothes that fitted. Once they’d closed all the shops you couldn’t try anything on, so it was best to get “one size fits all” and alter it when it was delivered.
Then back to work for one day every other week - mainly to be checked by the medics and psychologists. After a while, you learned not to say much and not make too much of anything. If you drew attention to yourself you could end up being redeployed on vegetable or fruit picking. But anyway, it was quite good to see the others from work even if you had to wave across from the other side of the room. The biggest surprise was finding out who dyed their hair and what colour it would have been originally.
Getting your hair done was almost impossible. The official appointments were every few months and you had to make sure you didn’t miss one otherwise you had to wait for ages. Of course, if you saw someone with styled hair you knew they’d earned extra vouchers. Either that, or they had some job as an announcer on the Information Channel.
Then they announced holidays were allowed. Everyone got excited and Twitter went wild with old photos of Marbella and Ibiza. But then they said no holidays outside your own region. For Alice that meant the North-East and that meant you could really only go to different coastal towns - the cities were out of bounds.
You were allowed to go twice a year and for a while Alice really enjoyed herself. You didn’t have to pay too much and the holiday was completely organised for you – every detail. The coach would pick you up to take you there and of course you never had to sit next to anyone. You weren’t allowed to bring any luggage - it was all provided when you got to the hotel. One of the best things was that you got to know a new set of people – the wall screens came on when your meal was served and you could talk to the others on the same holiday.
The best trip was Scarborough although the guided tour round the amusement arcade was a disappointment. You couldn’t put the money in the slot yourself and you had to give it to your holiday assistant. Alice’s favourite was the machine where you tried to grab the soft toy by lowering the little crane. Roger, Alice’s helper, was quite good at it although he didn’t always act quickly enough when she said “up”, “down”, “left” or “right”. Anyway, after several tries, she did win a pink and white toy elephant which they brought to her at the hotel after it had been disinfected.
Archaos
Cirque Revolutionnaire 1988
The worst trip was to Robin Hoods Bay. Alice had hoped to go to Whitby – the Dracula Special. She’d heard that you could book a visit to Dracula’s lair to see his coffin open up and then take part in a prize draw to win a genuine jet-stone bracelet. But Whitby was fully booked and they could only give her the Smuggler Experience in Robin Hoods Bay. When it turned out that the highlight was a boat trip along the coast to look at caves with an actor dressed in a tricorne hat – she wished she was at home with a takeaway and TV.
But now they had announced that provided you had the funds to pay, you could book a holiday abroad. It was more expensive than anything she’d been on before and there was lots of small print to read through before you were allowed to book. Most of it was to make sure you didn’t take out a court case against the holiday company if you weren’t satisfied afterwards.
Then there was an online questionnaire to fill in. They asked you questions about your age, height and weight; then the usual health questions - the number of vaccinations you’d had, how many times you’d had the virus and how much time you had spent in hospital. If you got below a certain number of points you were in.
The choice of holiday destination was quite small though and they were all in Europe. There was Paris, Budapest, Lisbon, Berlin and Vienna. Budapest, Lisbon and Berlin all sounded a bit too foreign but Paris and Vienna sounded good. In Paris you could visit a fashion house and choose an outfit then later go to the Moulin Rouge.

But Vienna had everything. As soon as you arrived you were given coffee with chocolates, then there was trip down the Danube, followed by a meal of Wiener Schnitzel and apple strudel with cream to finish. Best of all, whatever time of year you went, they would put on the New Year’s Day concert at the State Opera House for you. Alice couldn’t wait – she particularly wanted to watch the performing horses of the Spanish Riding School.
Alice pressed the button for “Book Now” and “Premium Package” then after a few seconds the message on the screen said “Your holiday has been confirmed for Thursday 4th June. Departure time 11 am. Your journey prep package will be delivered 4 days beforehand. Check in at our Milton Keynes travel bureau by 9am. Enjoy your trip!”
A courier delivered the prep package early on 31st  May. Inside was a wristband and large box. After Alice had strapped on the wristband and activated it, the box clicked and opened. Inside were the prep tablets with instructions, the sound player and headphones and the departure lounge footwear and clothing. For the next four days Alice took the tablets each night, turned on the sound player and put on the headphones before going to sleep.
Well before 9am on the 4th June Alice walked into the travel bureau in Milton Keynes. She was given boarding pass number 38, directed to one of the cubicles and changed into her plastic crocs and light blue departure gown. When she went to her allotted place in the departure lounge, she looked around in excitement. Although they were quite a distance from her, the other 50 or so people looked quite good fun.
When the staff called your number for boarding, you stood in front of an automatic door made of frosted glass and held up your wristband. Then the door opened there were two people there to greet you. They then led you to your own pod. There you had to strip naked so that they could fit the body suit and the head set before you lay down in the module. As soon as the lid was put down, the journey began.
A week later Alice was home. She let herself back into her flat, turned on the lights and her computer. It had been a brilliant holiday with no hitches except for the last couple of hours delay at the airport coming back. By that time Alice and her new gang of friends were so pleased to spend the extra time together that they hardly noticed. After all it gave them extra time to shop in the Duty Free. Alice had got chocolates for her mum, and a baseball cap for her little brother with “Vienna Rocks” written on it.
 Archaos
Cirque Revolutionnaire 1988
Alice opened up her page on Face Book. According to the notifications she had 22 new friend requests, 10 new messages and 45 updates. Two of the messages were from her mum and little brother. Their presents had obviously arrived already. She started going through the updates – most of them were “Likes” or “Loves” people had put on her new photos from the holiday. The picture of her stroking the horse’s neck was the most popular. The video of the boat trip down the Danube at night got plenty of “likes”. Then later that night the shot of her lying down along the laps of four of the lads had a comment from one of her oldest friends “greedy girl” with a shock-face emoji.
Alice sat back. Yes, it had been a brilliant holiday. Everything she would have expected.  Maybe she would go to Paris next year if she could afford it.