Not many people know that

‘Play it again, Sam’, ‘Come up and see me sometime.’ Neither of these quotes is accurate. The first was said by Lauren Bacall - not Humphrey Bogart and without the ‘again’. The second was quoted in publicity for two films by Mae West though not said in either. However, Mae West entirely understood the value of a memorable line and never lost an opportunity to say it herself when interviewed.  

‘Not many people know that.’ Many of us think that Michael Caine said this in the film The Italian Job but he didn’t. 

Apparently, Peter Sellers used it when doing an impression of Caine who was known for his delight in recounting facts from the Guinness Book of Records.

Sellers mimicked Caine answering the phone giving his name and number and saying “Not many people know that.” Paul Whitehouse picked it up in his character of the nosy neighbour in the Harry Enfield show.

Trivial and boring details 

These can be the stuff of life. I discovered this during my first teaching job – teaching English to a group of craft apprentices. According to ‘Beast’ - the lad unofficially in charge - I was on probation. This was nothing to do with the teaching authorities but was the unwritten trial set by the students. They wanted a satisfactory answer to three questions ‘Is she a snob?’, ‘Can she take a joke?’ and ‘Does she know anything useful?’ Fortunately, it seemed that after a few tests it was decided I would pass muster on the first two.

It turned out that I had been seen drinking in the Woolpack on a Friday night and this immediately confirmed that I was not a snob. My sense of humour was confirmed when I laughed at a student’s deliberate sabotage of the classwork I had set. I had asked them to fill in a mock driving licence application form – a practice in ‘formal’ communication. The particular student had filled in the name of the Monty Python candidate for the Silly Party instead of his own name – ‘Tarquin Fin-tim-lin-bin-whin-bim-lim-bus-stop-F'tang-F'tang-Olé-Biscuitbarrel’.

The answer to the third question ‘Does she know anything useful?’ was less straightforward. According to the students, useful knowledge included 

how old you have to be to place a bet and how fast a shark could swim. It was assumed that I had no knowledge of anything useful whatsoever – my degree in Philosophy and Literature would be regarded as particularly useless. So recognising this, I set exercises for students to explain clearly and in the right order the processes they carried out in their work - from Bricklaying to Printing. I learned a lot along the way and hopefully helped to develop their communication skills.

The wonders of WD 40

I was reminded of this recently when trying to put together a garden bench. All went smoothly until the final screw of the four major connectors jammed in place. Of course, I had tried undoing all the other three and then screwing them in gradually one by one but to no avail.

Then I suddenly thought of the saying

‘All the problems in the world can be solved by duct tape or WD 40.’

This was one of the pieces of wisdom I had been graced with by the students. Thinking about it I had my answer. The end if the phrase is ‘If it moves - use duct tape and if it won’t move - use WD40.’

Yes, dear reader, having sprayed all four screws with WD 40 the assembly of the bench was completed with ease. But I can hear you saying ‘This is not a useless fact, it’s useful fact!’ Ah, but here comes the useless fact ‘What does the ‘WD’ stand for in WD 40?’ I’ll tell you later.

A favourite quiz question

Just up the road in St Johns Wood is the Abbey Road crossing featured on the Beatles album of the same name.  There’s a man in the park café who delights in asking this. 

‘Here’s one for you. Which one of the Beatles is not wearing shoes on the Abbey Road album cover?’

We've all watched the army of fans collect outside the EMI studio then constantly cross the road to have their picture taken. But who can remember that kind of detail about the album cover?

‘No idea.’ I said. (That was the right answer. I knew - even if I had known it - not to say and be a smart alec.) ‘It’s George Harrison.’ said the man. 

‘That’s a good one.’ I said ‘I’ll know that  time it comes up in the pub quiz.’

When I got home, I looked it up.

Thank goodness I hadn’t known the right answer. It would have been awful if I had been tempted to put him right. 

That would have made him look like a right Charlie just like the Harry Enfield character.

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What does WD stand for in WD 40?

WD stands for ‘Water Displacement’. This must be the reason why it is useful for drying out the points on a car, getting a frozen car key lock to work and shifting a seized up wooden screw. The history of its development is fascinating if you’re into that kind of thing.

Find outmore about the iconic WD-40 brand and its history (wd40.co.uk)