Delicious Dystopia

 A fox walks into a bar

No this is not a joke – it’s just something I saw when idly scrolling through the TV listings 

and landing on one of those channels that gives me absolutely nothing.

I love that - nothing  thought-provoking and absolutely nothing important:-

 ‘See what happens when this dog meets his rescuer……’. 

‘Monty Python’s best sketch ever…’

‘Judi Dench’s side-splitting gags.’

By the way why is scrolling always idle?

Can’t it be determined or intensely focussed?

Well anyway the fox walks into a bar – looking delightful but small and pleading. Of course I’m immediately hooked. Perfect clickbait…..

So

The image of the woman is indistinct. Her eyes aren’t right. There’s an electric buzz and the image splits - then we see her hair is all awry –  she is fascinated by the TV just next to her. 

A bland, flat-faced announcer asks in a robotic voice

‘In light of recent events what can we even believe in anymore?’

The woman behind the bar NUTS the TV screen there is a BANG the screen goes blank leaving behind the uncomfortable hiss of static.

A mesmeric beat begins.

Cut to a street – grey, high walls – imposing buildings.

A motorcycle lies on its side. Shadowy figures come into view walking in lockstep - with a characteristic twitch of the head one way then the other. What is happening?

The sound of the beat intensifies.  The motorcycle spins as if pulled by an invisible force.

A man comes into view his head twitching from side to side. Begins walking to the beat - his body is being controlled.

Cut to mid shot of man dropping his bike to the floor – he is pulled forward in sync with the others.

Cut to a woman at the apex whose right leg rises up at right angles - she leans back to surge forward. BOOM The phalanx perfectly in step. 

BOOM  the music stops

BOOM the music starts - a rhythmic backing - jump cut to others walking as if they are zombies.

The people as zombies gather until there is a mass moving - moving - moving – arms waving up and down in a mechanical unison.    

  The Walking Dead     Thriller

More and more are gathered – we view them through a tunnel with a light at the end BUT there’s nothing good – like the walking dead in I am Legend converging on the last man alive in all the world.

The music has become hypnotic

Cut to town square. Onlookers are frozen in horror. A delivery worker drops all his boxes. A man exercising his pecs on an overhead bar is frozen solid in shock. A man behind pushes him to one side so he can see.

The backing track intensifies and the beat speeds up – the pace increases.

The town square is packed with robotic dancers no space between the bodies all facing inward.   

Suddenly there is a subliminal flash of the space below – beneath them is a bird.

Rocking from leg to leg with the beat.

A  bird? What bird?

The screen is filled with one word 

 

Then the majestic figure emerges on the dais for worship.

What on earth is going on? Weird or what? A new religion? A forthcoming tongue-in-cheek mock horror movie? 

It's an ad. 

Here it is on YouTube

BELIEVE IN CHICKEN

What I had just watched was an ad for Kentucky Fried Chicken which was widely broadcast from June 2024.

____________________________________________________

So how does the latest advert from KFC come about? What story is it trying to tell?

On June 14^th 2024 in an article in the Food Industry News section of Adweek,  Brittaney Keifer writes.

In these uncertain times—marred by political and economic turmoil, climate change and the rise of artificial intelligence—it’s hard to know what to trust. Restaurant chain KFC offers a simple answer to the lost and fearful masses:

Believe in chicken. 

The ad premiering during the UEFA Euro 2024 soccer championship’s opening match between Germany and Scotland.

KFC, already known for its light-hearted voice, issues an irreverent rallying cry for a younger generation inheriting an unpredictable world. 

I am probably not the only one who is confused by this. Is the ad inviting us to identify with ‘the lost and fearful masses’? And will a chicken supper save us from our lack of certainty? How can a rallying cry be irreverent?

How is an advert’s effect measured?

YouTube can be illuminating. Most ads are posted there after launch. This ad has 960 comments from members of the public. Here are a few.

Now THAT is how you advertise. Top marks to the dance choreographer, the editor, the sound team and the filming crew.

This ad is fu*ked up in so many ways , but it’s pure brilliance.

Other viewers were not so entranced

Chicken danced its arse off to end up in a boneless banquet 24 hours later.

Disturbing to say the least. Worshipping consumption like zombies.

One man was watching the ad on its first outing during the half time break of the match between Scotland and Germany – Germany leading 3-0.

Just saw this at Half time of the euros opener and I'm as confused as Scotland’s defence.

Germany went on to win 5-1 to the dismay of the Scottish fans.  

______________________________________________________________

Notes

History of KFC

Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC) originated in 1930 when Harland Sanders began cooking fried chicken at his gas station in Corbin, Kentucky. This would have been at the height of the Depression. 

Before that – the story goes –  Harland’s father died when he was 5 years old and Harland had to help make ends meet while his mother went out to work. At the age of 7 he set up a roadside café and grill which launched the business.

By 1950 Harland Sanders had been given the honorary title of Colonel by the Governor of Kentucky. From this point Harland built the Colonel Sanders persona - dressing the part, growing a goatee and wearing a black frock coat and a string tie. From then on he referred to himself as "Colonel".

Telling Tales

Within Business and Management courses the KFC business is used as a case study of Brand Management, showing the importance of a narrative to support the business and create an ‘origin story’. Harland’s early hardship is a great narrative and coupled with the suggestion of military valour – this was a winning combination.

We can see elsewhere the importance of well-crafted advertising in selling what is essentially an undifferentiated product. 

There are many other examples.

In 1973 the Hovis advert, directed by Ridley Scott, featured a 13 year old boy, pushing a bike with a basket of bread up a steep cobbled street. The advert, set in post-war Britain was accompanied by a brass band playing Dvorak's New World Symphony. In 2019 it was voted the most iconic and ‘heart-warming’ advert of all time by UK consumers. 

Brimful of Asha

What do Phoenix Nights, Balsall Heath, electronic dance music and corner shops have in common?

The answer is an Indian singer who is rarely seen on screen but who is acknowledged by the Guinness Book of World Records as the most recorded artist in music history. 

She has many admirers. Her name is Asha Bosle.

A Consummate Crooner

In Phoenix Nights - the fictional nightclub created by Peter Kay, Dave Spikey AKA ‘Jerry St Clair’ sings ‘Brimful of Asha’ a cover of the 1998 hit song by Cornershop. This is a deliberately cringe-worthy send up of a night-club singer. 

Mr St Clair has obviously been given the early-evening spot before the main act - mercifully before the carpet gets really sticky. Silver-suited Jerry puts all his best moves into it.

Phoenix Nights - Brimful of Asha (Jerry St Claire) - You Tube 

_________________________________________________

Cornershop are a British indie rock band formed by Wolverhampton-born Tjinder Singh, his brother Avtar, David Chambers and Ben Ayres. The name of the band, Cornershop was also chosen as an ironic reference to a stereotype – and at the same time a tribute to all the South Asian migrants who opened convenience stores on the corner of many streets. Cornershop: Brimful of Asha   

The title of the track refers to the Indian singer Asha Bosle. In the enthusiastic response to the record few people knew what the title Brimful of Asha - meant. 

Picture of Asha Bosle in 2011

She is an Indian playback singer with a career spanning over eight decades receiving multiple accolades. 

A playback singer records for the soundtracks of Bollywood films and the film actors then mime the words and the editors lip-sync the songs. 

Asha was born on 8 September 1933 and started her career as a playback singer at the age of 10. As well as Hindi, she has sung in over 20 Indian and foreign languages. In an interview in 2006, Bhosle said that she had recorded over twelve thousand songs in her career.  

A still from the film Yaadon Ki Baraat

New Delhi to Balsall Heath

Another tribute to Asha Bosle was made by Bally Sagoo who was born in New Delhi in 1964 and brought up in Balsall Heath, Birmingham. Bally (Baljit)’s father Saminder Sagoo ran a record shop in the 1970s, after playing in his own band ‘The Musafirs’ in the late 1960s.

In his teens, Baljit was friends with kids from the various migrant communities of Balsall Heath and developed a taste for reggae, R&B, soul and disco. Before the age of 10 he was using the HiFi at home to make mix tapes.

‘I had my bedroom named ‘Curry Wood Studios’

He went on to DJ in Birmingham’s clubs becoming  a major international record, film and TV producer.

In 1994 he produced the album ‘Bollywood Flashback’. The track Chura Liya * was a huge success. Asha Bosle's wonderful voice can be heard soaring over the great orchestral dub introduction.

Chura Liya: Bally Sagoo - You Tube

 It was play-listed on Radio 1 making Bally Sagoo the first Indian artist on mainstream British radio.

______________________________

Balsall Heath was the musical home of another ground breaking band – UB40.  

UB40 arrive at the 'Peaky Blinders'
premier in Birmingham

In an interview with the BBC in 2018, the UB40 vocalist Ali Campbell said

I  lived in Balsall Heath in South Birmingham which was a predominantly immigrant area. The first
generation of Windrush kids were all my friends, and I grew up with Indian and Jamaican friends. So the music of the streets was Indian music, which I love—Mohammad Rafi and Asha Bhosle and all that—and reggae.

___________________________________________________

Note *

"Chura Liya Hai Tumne Jo Dil Ko"(That You’ve Stolen This Heart") is an Indian Hindi song from the 1973 Bollywood film Yaadon Ki Baraat. It was sung by Asha Bhosle and Mohammad Rafi. The song was performed in the film by Vijay Arora and Zeenat Aman. It was written by Majrooh Sultanpuri and composed by R. D. Burman. 

Gravy with your biscuits ma-am?

I recently travelled from Memphis to New Orleans on a paddle-steamboat - The American Queen.  Part of the adventure was ordering food when away from the boat. Some of the menu items turned out to be quite unexpected.

___________________________________________________________________________________

Memphis 

A feature of the Peabody Hotel in Memphis is the ducks which are brought from their roof-top home every day at 11 am and 4 pm to swim in the fountain of the hotel atrium. 

The Peabody Coffee Shop and Restaurant    11.30 am

-       Good mornin’ ma-am. My name’s William. What’re y’all havin’?

I looked round but there was no one else nearby.

-       Just me here.

-       Welcome ma-am. Make yourself at home. Here is the lunch and brunch menu.

-       Thanks William.

-       What would you like?  

-       I’ve had breakfast. Could I have lunch? What do you recommend?

-       Well – I’m not sure what might be best for you.

How about Nitty gritty chicken wings, ma-m? Or our special bacon biscuits with gravy?

-       Do you have anything with vegetables or salad?

-       Our collard greens fondue is popular ma-am – served with pitta bread.

-       Fondue?

-       Yes, sauteed with a cup of butter.

-       Um…… not sure. Any salad?

-       How about a wedge salad ma-am?

-       Can you tell me what that is?

-       It’s a lettuce with plenty of fixins.

-       Fixins?

-       Fruit ‘n all. Sauces – Ranch, Truff N Stuff, Candied Pecans, Caesar, Lemon pepper, blue cheese.

-       I’ll have a wedge salad with Caesar.

-       Any Protein? Bacon? Shrimp? Catfish?

-       Catfish please .. and Coffee.

-       Drip? 

-   Oh, I see, yes – the coffee..........drip will be fine thank you. 

____________________________________________

Bourbon Heat – French Quarter New Orleans  

‘Mick the lunch’ served me in the yard of Bourbon Heat – a cool spot (in every sense) strung with fairy lights. Inside, a tightly-packed crowd cheered the band - bottles of beer raised to the ceiling. 

-       Good day ma-am. What can ah get ya to drink?

-        Mineral water please.

-       O…K….ah think we have Perrier. Lemon with it?

I’d begun to accept that ordering a non-alcoholic drink might provoke a pitying sideways look. ‘She must have a problem.’

-       Yes but a small amount of ice.

It seemed every soft drink came with a pint glass full to the brim with ice.

-       O…K…..I’ll be back shortly

Mick brought the bottle and put down the glass. The kitchen hadn’t taken heed.

-       You from Canada?

-       No, London, England

-       I’ve always wanted to go there. Maybe I will – I’ve just sold my house to Beyonce’s niece for a million so maybe I can get there.

-       Brilliant! You’ll enjoy it.

-       I’ve done lots of things before this. We’ve all done porn. (he gestured at the other waiters) I used to be quite a looker. Then I put on loads of weight. Turning it around now. I’ve lost 40 pounds.

-       Well done! How did you do that?

-       Oh - I stopped eating fried food and carbs.

-       That can’t have been easy.

-       No it wasn’t – no more po’boys or battered shrimp.

-       What do you have instead?

-       Blackened shrimp – much better. Just tossed on the grill.

-       Sounds good – I’ll have some of that.

-       Yes ma-am, then I’ll show you where Preservation Hall is.

   

______________________________________________________

New Orleans, Jackson Square

Later that day (getting on for 4pm)

The best laid plans……are meant to be ignored. I’d been joined by my companion from the American Queen. She was one of the passengers like me who had come for the jazz and the fun. Even more surprising to the other regular cruise ship travellers, we were happy to explore on foot rather than take a bus tour.

We’d stopped at the Café du Monde, had beignets and coffee and watched the band in front of St Louis (pronounced with an ‘s’) basilica in Jackson Square.

      

_____________________________________________________________

Decatur, French Quarter - Crescent City Brewhouse

The Brewhouse on Decatur looked convivial – we sat at the bar and Gabriel came to serve us.  My rule of thumb ‘No booze until after 6’ was easy to get round. It had been 6 o’clock probably (I’d lost track by then) seven hours ago in Blighty.

My companion had a flight of beer set up in front of her. I’d decided it was time for a bit of Southern Comfort. When it arrived, I looked at the huge measure in my glass and this time I was grateful for the mountain of ice to sip with it. After a while we decided a little snack would be in order.

From that point on I realised the combination of alcohol and jet lag had made my vocabulary revert almost entirely to the vernacular. More particularly I had become unable to get to the point. Some would say ‘No change there then’.

Gabriel did his best

-       We thought we’d have a little snifter

-       Sorry ma-am?

-       No I mean some food, but not too much.

-       Do you mean a starter perhaps ma-am?

-       Exactly

-       Boudin balls? With mustard and relish.

-       Um….

I looked at my companion but she was deep in conversation with the lads on the other side of her…….something about the merits of stopping in Bali on the way to Oz. Gabriel was continuing to do his best.

-       Ma-am you might like Hush Puppies.

Then I got started.

-       Oh you have Hush Puppies here too! We have them in England in fact they are made out of leather – they’re very naff …..well they were OK but…..in fact when I was a kid ….. a very long time ago…….we had to wear Start Rite sandals and they were made by the same firm……..Clarks…… a family firm…they nearly went of business…..

Gabriel was nodding and smiling and trying to keep up. Probably hoping for a sign that I was about to order. But I kept talking.

-       ….so Hush Puppies were what creepy men with moustaches  wore……probably to match their sheepskin coats….and cavalry twill trousers……….until Oasis. You heard of Oasis?

Gabriel nodded again. He was endlessly patient.

-       They were brothers…. O’Sullivan ….no I’m wrong…. Gallagher. Madchester. The Hacienda. And one of them started wearing Hush Puppies and bucket hats and ‘Bingo’ that put them back in contention…….Suddenly all the trendies were queueing up at the boring old Clark’s shoe shops to get some Hush Puppies. Would you believe it – yes and even Start Rite sandals came back in to fashion…………………………….What were you saying?

-       We have Hush Puppies here.

-       Oh yes…

-       They’re crab croquettes served with a remoulade

-       Oh marvellous – we’ll have some of those. Can I take your picture?

________________________________________________

Notes and glossary

A ‘flight’ of beer is a selection of different beers to taste in small glasses.

In this case it was six all made in the microbrewery.  (Apparently the ‘flight’ becomes a ‘growler’ when it reaches 16.)   

 Biscuits are what we would call scones, and cookies are what we would call biscuits. Plenty of biscuits are savoury (cheese, ham. chicken) and served with white or brown gravy. White gravy is thin white sauce with lardons or onions to flavour.

 Shrimp is usually spoken of in the singular but is served in generous numbers. It or they is/are what we would call prawns and is/are large and scrumptious and is/are caught locally (Gulf of Mexico).

 Grits (are or is?) cornmeal porridge.

 Po-boy – this is a massive sandwich in what looks like a baguette but is made of softer bread. Origin ‘poor boy’……. I didn’t like to ask why.

 Chips are crisps and Fries (sometimes French) are what Brits would call chips.

 Hush Puppies originate in America. Here’s the logo. 

'Hush Puppies' is a phrase thought to have come from Confederate soldiers hiding from Yankee forces, keeping their dogs quiet. Yes seriously. 

_______________________________________________________